I Forgive You I Love You
by Luppi-tan
Summary: HitsuHina. Rated M for lemon. Hinamori and Hitsugaya are worrying about what the other thinks of them. What happens when Hitsugaya goes to ask Hinamori to forgive him? I know that I suck at summaries. If you don't like this pairing, don't read. Enjoy.


Hinamori sat in her room, unable to sleep, but desperate not to be awake. She could no longer bear the heartbreak that she had suffered. She had loved Aizen so much, and he had lied to her and manipulated her. To him, she had been nothing more than a fool, a pawn in his convoluted scheme to defect Soul Society. She still couldn't figure out why he hated Soul Society so much. She didn't know why Gin and Tosen had gone with him. She didn't know anything, because nobody would tell her anything. Whenever she asked anyone about it, they always just gave her the same look and told her not to worry about it. It was that look that she had grown to hate. Pity. She spat the word out as if it was a particularly rotten piece of food. She hated being pitied. She hated feeling like everyone was secretly laughing at her for believing Aizen's lies.

She _wasn't_ stupid. She wasn't……… Was she? Maybe she was stupid. Maybe she was so stupid and weak that she had allowed herself to be drawn in by his gentle nature and kind words… She knew that she should hate him. He lied to her. He betrayed her. He tried to kill her. But no matter how many times she repeated that in her head, she still couldn't be angry at him. But Aizen wasn't her only problem. She was just as bad. Maybe she was a bigger idiot than she could have ever imagined. She had turned her sword on Toshiro, attacked him when he was fighting to protect her. She hadn't heard from him since she had woken up. It had been weeks and he hadn't said a word to her. Did he hate her that much? He and she had been friends for over fifty years. She couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

Thinking about Toshiro, she blushed slightly. He really was an amazing person. There was something about him that made her feel right at home. Even though he was grumpy sometimes, and somewhat distant… Maybe… Maybe he meant more to her than she had previously thought. But that left her to wonder… what did she mean to him?

Toshiro sat at his desk in complete silence, filling out paperwork. As usual, he was alone. Rangiku had somehow managed to once again worm her way out of responsibility, and he had to take over for her. He was sure that she was out drinking somewhere. Not that he really wanted to drink. He had tried a drink of Sake once and had gotten sick within ten minutes of it. He had thrown up for hours afterward. Yeah, he was that bad at holding his liquor. But, something else was on his mind that night. Something besides Rangiku's irresponsibility, and his own stupidity for abiding her irresponsibility. He knew that she was just being herself, and he had given up caring, especially that night. He was thinking of his friend, Hinamori. He had arrested her. How could he have done that? She was stricken with grief because her captain had died. He knew perfectly well that Hinamori wasn't always the best at handling emotional traumas. Fortunately, she was a fairly cheerful girl, so such things didn't happen very often, but Aizen had manipulated her to need him more than she really should have. He hated Aizen so much. His hatred for the brown haired ex-shinigami seethed out of him like smoke from a fire.

What made it worse, though, was that Toshiro knew that Hinamori wasn't angry at Aizen. She was probably still angry at him for arresting her like that, but that was a different story. She still believed that Aizen had been manipulated by Gin. Toshiro knew the truth, though. Gin had been a good captain, but he was Aizen's henchman, not half as powerful as Aizen and not suited to lead in Hueco Mundo. Toshiro guessed that Gin didn't have that kind of ambition, either. Gin was power hungry, but not in the way that he would want to be a leader like that. He would probably want more to gain power by following someone else.

Suddenly, Toshiro heard the door open outside, and he looked up. It was Rangiku. She looked at him and smiled. She didn't look drunk, but sometimes, it was hard to tell with Rangiku.

"Matsumoto… What are you doing here? Just go home and go to bed. We both know you don't intend to do any work tonight," Toshiro snapped, perhaps a little more harshly than he had meant to. Rangiku looked at him, cocking her head to the left, frowning slightly. It almost looked as though she was hurt by what Toshiro had said.

"Well, captain… You know, if you really wanted me to help that much, you should have just said so…" she said, trying not to sound too disturbed by her captain's tone. Needless to say, she failed.

"I'm sorry, Matsumoto. I'm just tired," Toshiro lied. He knew that he was lying, but he didn't really want to discuss his problems at the moment.

"Oh, come on, captain! I know you better than that!" Rangiku said, running up to Toshiro and hugging him tightly.

"What's really wrong!?" she demanded, rubbing his head and messing up his hair even more than it usually was.

"Fine! If I tell you, will you get off of me!?" he said irately, starting to yell, now. Rangiku backed off a bit, still slightly confused as to why he was so angry.

"It's about Hinamori. I'm concerned about her obsession with Aizen. It's like he can do no wrong in her eyes. I'm also worried that she's still angry at me for arresting her that day. She attacked me, a-and I struck back. I knew that I was much stronger than her, and I hit her anyway. I knocked her unconscious. I wasn't able to save her from being hurt by Aizen, and then I wasn't even strong enough to prevent Aizen from leaving. I was using my bankai, and Aizen hadn't even released his shikai, and he still massacred me. He wasn't even trying. He was mocking me, showing me how much more powerful than me he was."

It was times like these that made Rangiku realize that no matter how mature her white haired captain was, he was still only a kid. He hated being reminded of such, but he really was just a child. She sometimes wondered if it was really good for him to have so much responsibility, and then there she was, dumping everything on him like she had no job to do in the world. Sometimes she felt guilty about not helping out like she should, but she just didn't have the motivation.

"Captain, if you're really that upset about this, go talk to her. Apologize if it will make you feel better. You don't have anything to be sorry for. You did the best that you could, but if all of this is really eating at your conscience like that, then by all means, you should apologize. She probably has something she wants to say to you, too."

"But I'm afraid that she won't accept my apology. What if she says that she hates me? I can't live with that!" he shouted at her, tugging at his hair, pulling two small white clumps out. Fortunately, his hair was so wild that even if he did pull out some, there was always more to cover it up.

"She _doesn't_ hate you. If you talk to her, I'm sure that you'll find that out for yourself."

"How can you be so sure? You can't read her mind! You don't know what she's thinking right now! What if she slams the door in my face? What if… What if she says she's never going to speak to me again? What if…"

He didn't get a chance to say anything else, because Rangiku stopped him, hugging him tightly to her. She rarely got a chance to act like a mother, but she didn't really want to pass up a chance to be able to help Toshiro, even in some small way. She knew that she was irresponsible, and immature. She was the complete opposite of Toshiro, and yet, he still hadn't sacked her.

"Captain, you're over thinking this. Of course I can't read her mind, but I _know_ Momo. She just isn't the kind of person who would say something like that. She isn't the kind of person that has it in her to hate anyone. If you were thinking logically, you'd realize that if she doesn't hate Aizen of all people, that she couldn't possibly hate you."

"I-I guess so. What time is it?" Toshiro asked quietly. Rangiku checked her watch.

"About 2100h. You still have time to visit her."

*In Front of Hinamori's House*

Toshiro cleared his throat authoritatively, as he was used to doing and shook his head a bit, blinking a few times and taking several deep breaths to clear the butterflies from his stomach. He had already turned back and turned back around three times. This was his last chance to rethink talking to her. He knew that if he didn't talk to her, though, that he would always wonder what she thought of him. So, he took one more deep breath and then exhaled slowly, and walked up to the door, knocking on it with three short raps, as he was accustomed to doing. He heard a small commotion inside, and heard shuffling feet and then saw a silhouette in the frosted window on the door.

"C-come in…" came an uncertain voice that could only belong to Hinamori. Toshiro removed his sandals and opened the door, only to find Hinamori in a towel. Both blushed heavily, and Hinamori suddenly slipped, seemingly over nothing, and fell backwards. Toshiro quickly reached out to grab her arm, but ended up grabbing the towel instead, pulling it off. Hinamori screamed as she fell to the floor completely naked. As she sat up, she realized what had happened and immediately went to cover herself. Fortunately, Toshiro, who was almost as much of a prude as Ichigo, had covered his eyes immediately, and was holding the towel out for her to grab whenever she stood up. When she finally grabbed her towel, a little bit rougher than she had intended to, giving Toshiro the impression that she was angry at him. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at her nervously.  
"Ah, Imverysorryididntmeantodothatiswear!!" he shouted, stringing all of his words together, still blushing furiously. Hinamori looked at him and smiled shyly, stepping back so that he could come in. He slowly walked in and bowed in thanks and then stood in the front hall for a minute until Hinamori offered him a seat. He didn't want to assume that he was welcome to stay after what he had just done.

"J-just give me a minute, C-Captain Hitsugaya…" she said. It didn't escape Toshiro that she had used his title rather than his name. It was almost a little bit unsettling to hear her so melancholy. She disappeared upstairs and came down a moment or two later wearing a bathrobe. Toshiro sighed in relief. He wasn't sure how much longer he would have been able to handle seeing her in a towel.

"S-so, Captain Hitsugaya… T-to what do I owe the honor of y-your company?" she asked, bowing politely to him and offering him something to eat. Toshiro looked at her oddly, his head quirked to the left slightly. He didn't get why she was acting so strange. It was like she had forgotten that they had ever been friends. It was like she was trying to act as though they were nothing more than superior and subordinate.

"W-why so formal, Momo?" Toshiro asked sadly, not daring to look at her. He didn't want to have to see the answer in her eyes. He just wanted to be able to accept whatever answer came from her mouth.

"Well…" she began nervously. "Y-you see… I realized after the ryoka left that it really i-isn't appropriate f-for me t-to call you by your first name. After all, we a-aren't really f-friends anymore. You're a captain, a-and I'm a lieutenant. I-I thought that maybe you would be more comfortable if I started acting as someone of my own position…" she said, cracking her knuckles and stumbling over her words. Toshiro could hear her breathing rate increase, and her heart beating faster. Was she lying? Should he call her on it? He just didn't know what was right, anymore. The lines between good and bad, right and wrong just seemed so blurred, now that Aizen was gone that nothing seemed certain anymore.

"Momo, if you're lying because you feel bad about something, please tell me, though I can't understand why you would feel guilty… However, if you really believe that, please put it out of your mind. It's a little bit unnerving to hear you speak so formally. Plus, you sound like you're terrified of me, and it kind of hurts my feelings," Toshiro stated bluntly. He knew that he wasn't very good at being subtle when it came to social situations. However, one thing that he was good at was delivering the truth. Maybe that could work to his advantage that night.

"C-Capt… Toshiro… I guess I do feel bad about something, though I never meant to hurt your feelings… I-I was so afraid that you would hate me for attacking you like I did. I accused you of something truly horrible, and then I attacked you for no reason. I know that you might not be able to forgive me, but please tell me you don't hate me!!" she begged, looking at Toshiro miserably, her eyes glistening with tears. Toshiro knew that he couldn't say no to that. It was physically impossible.

"Momo, I never hated you in the first place… A-and I was never even angry at you. I was worried about you. You've been hurt terribly by someone who meant the world to you, and I felt like there was nothing I could do that would make you feel better. I was afraid that I'd failed you."

"Toshiro…" she whispered, and then ran over and hugged him tightly, sobbing. Toshiro hugged her back, blushing slightly, but putting a hand on her back and rubbing it gently. She smelled like cherries and clover. That smell always seemed to wash away his worries, no matter where he was or what he was doing. Whispering gentle words of consolation to Momo, the two just sat there for a moment, doing nothing but holding each other, neither willing to let the other one go. After a few minutes, though, Momo let go and looked at Toshiro, smiling shyly.

"Toshiro, I-I've never really had the courage to say this before now… I guess I'm nervous even tonight, but… I love you…" she said, kissing him chastely on the lips. Toshiro blushed and backed away for a moment, causing Momo to look at him again, confused this time.

"D-do you… not feel the same way, Toshiro?" she asked, looking as though she might cry again.

"No, I do… I-I just… Never expected you to say that. I always kind of thought that you just thought of me as a friend. I always kind of got the impression that you were in love with Aizen…" Toshiro said, cringing slightly in anger at his own speaking of Aizen's name. Momo shook her head, though.

"No. He was important to me, but he was more like a father. I never knew my father, so it was kind of nice to feel like I had someone who cared about me like a parent."

"I see. D-do you think it would be alright if I kissed you again?" he asked, looking away, half petrified to see Momo's reaction to what he was saying. He wondered if it was asking too much. But she nodded and leaned in, closing her eyes and kissing Toshiro on the lips sweetly, embracing him as she did so. Toshiro likewise held Momo and soon prodded at her mouth for entrance, which she gladly gave him. After that, a battle of tongues ensued, in which Toshiro had the upper hand, as it was in Momo's mouth. He soon gained dominance and their kiss became a heated, passionate frenzy of tongues. After a moment, they broke away at about the same time to take a breath of air.

"I won't go any further without your permission, Momo-chan…" Toshiro said quietly, looking into Momo's chocolate brown eyes, not with his usual scowl, but with a slight smile. She stared back into his aqua green orbs and nodded.

"I-I want you, Shiro-kun…" she said breathily. And so, Toshiro advanced on her and slowly slipped her bathrobe off of her shoulders, laying kisses down her jaw and shoulder and untying the bathrobe at her waist. Hinamori blushed heavily, but didn't stop him as he removed the bathrobe, leaving her naked before him. God, she was beautiful. Her breasts were small, but perfect, and her complexion was smooth and creamy in contrast to her shoulder length black hair. Toshiro gently began to massage her left breast, causing Momo to moan softly into his mouth as he continued to kiss her passionately. His other hand moved down her body, and finally reached her entrance. Rubbing it gently, he caused her to arch her back in pleasure as he ran his dexterous finger over her clit.

He did this for a while until she released on his hand, at which point, he licked her juices off of his hand and then went in between her legs with his mouth, pushing his tongue into her pussy, causing her to cry out in ecstasy. As he continued to lick her clit and pussy, she cried out his name louder and louder until she released in his mouth. Next, he took off his own gi and hakama pants, leaving him only in his boxers. Momo smiled and rubbed his cock through the fabric of his boxers. His cock had already become hard, so she didn't have to do much to get him to jerk in pleasure. Smirking, she pulled his boxers down, revealing his bulging, twitching dick, which was already leaking precum. She quickly took his dick in her mouth and began licking all over it, sliding up and down his cock, slurping as she went. Toshiro moaned and groaned in pleasure until finally, he exploded in her mouth with the biggest orgasm he had ever had. Admittedly, he had masturbated before, too. After all, there were few who could claim that they hadn't. However, his pleasure had never been so great and so complete as this before.

Once Momo had drank down all of his cum, he pulled out of her mouth and pushed her down on the couch. He then slowly pushed his cock into her pussy, causing her at first to groan in pain. When he broke past her barrier, she cried out in agony. At this point, Toshiro asked her if she wanted to stop. She shook her head, though.

"N-no. I-it's alright. I-it's supposed to hurt th-the first time…" she breathed heavily. So, Toshiro waited a minute, and then began to thrust in and out of her. At first, the pain was unbearable, but soon, pleasure began to replace pain in vibrant waves of ecstasy. Momo began to scream Toshiro's name, wrapping her legs around Toshiro's waist and digging her nails into his back, leaving small finger marks. However, Toshiro too was too involved to notice. He thrust and thrust and finally, as they both climaxed, they cried out each others' names into the air and finally collapsed onto the couch together. As they fell asleep for the night, Toshiro whispered something into Momo's ear, which she just barely heard.

"I love you, Momo-chan…"


End file.
